February 19th 2019 – Mindset – In memory of my mum

I want to talk about a subject that I believe is mostly a matter opinion rather than straight hard facts and that is your mindset. For years I had a negative mindset which caused more problems than it solved. I had a negative mindset without really knowing it. It put me in difficult positions and also invited depression and anxiety into my life, of which I have dealt with for many years.

The benefits from having a positive mindset are virtually endless, but how exactly do you change from a negative to a positive mindset? The answer to that question is one only you can answer for yourself. It’s different for everyone because everyone is different no matter how basic or normal you feel you are. I felt like that once. Just another star out of millions of others, but the truth is when you look up to the sky at night and look at the stars even though they all look the same at a distance, close up they are all different and unique their own way.

Living with a negative mindset completely changes the way you view and deal with certain problems life throws your way. You see if I still had a negative mindset I wouldn’t be able to write blogs out of fear of criticism as I would take it the wrong way rather than looking at it as constructive criticism and using it to become a better person.

When I think of a positive mindset the first thing that springs to mind is the film ‘Pay it forward’, which is about how a young kid has idea to change the world for the better and that is to perform 1 random act of kindness for 3 strangers with asking for one thing in return and that is that they simply pay it forward and do the same for others. The idea behind it is that in the end everyone performs and receives a random act of kindness that changes their life for the better. I first watched this movie at a young age the idea seems to have stuck with me as I’m the kind of person that will go out of my way to help and please others even if it puts me in a bad situation.

However it wasn’t this film that made me change to a positive mindset although it was a good foundation for one, but a hard hitting life experience that did. Living with depression and anxiety forced me to look at certain situations and people in a negative light when in reality there was no real reason to, and just made life difficult to get through. The hard hitting life experience im about to tell you is one we all go through at some stage in our lives and that is losing someone you’re close to wether it be a friend or family member.

I lost my mum to cancer when I was 17, to this day it’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to go through, it put me at my lowest point as I was forced to see my hero on ground zero. There are no words to describe the feeling of going back and forth to the hospital only to watch the woman that raised me be in pain while I was helpless to do anything about it. Ironically it was during this time in which I was taught a life lesson that will be forever imprinted in my brain and which ultimately led to changing not only the I way I think but the way I viewed life as a whole.

Around a month before she passed I had a heart to heart conversation with her as she lay in the hospital which broke my heart. She told me of all the things she wished she had the courage and belief to do before she was diagnosed with cancer. She told me that all she wanted now was to be safe in the knowledge that she had raised her children not only to be kind, loving and caring but that we be ourselves and not let anyone try and change who we are no matter what.

It was this conversation that made realise I wasn’t living my life to not only the way she would of wanted but the I wanted as well. This in turn made me realise that I had quite a negative outlook on life and I needed to change my mindset for the better. I decided from that moment that I would be the very best version of myself that I could be as no one else could do that for me. I didn’t want to have the same regrets about how I could of lived my life, but at the end of my time be able to look back with a smile on my face knowing I had achieved all that I could of and wanted in life. It’s been a journey in which has taken me a couple years to change the way I perceive the world as whole. There have been many ups and downs but I can now honestly tell you that 99% of the time I have a positive outlook on life, I no longer wake up in the morning thinking that the next 24 hours are going to be a hindrance but on oppurtunity to live life to its fullest and leave nothing but happiness and kindness everywhere I go.

I would like end this with something my mother said to me just a few weeks before she passed that truly changed the way I think – “When a turtle gets flipped onto it’s back it does everything within it’s power to get back to the right way up, no matter how impossible it may seem.”

To you with love, THC x

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